We
are sometimes swift to make many declarations, decisions, or conclusions on the
things we would love to someday do in life—like the career we would love to
have, the kinds and numbers of degrees and in what courses, the kind of person
we would love to have as spouse, the nature of environment we would love to be,
the level of sociability we would love to have, and things like that.
However,
if we could take out some time to analyse our whims and desires over the years,
we would soon realize that many of the things we wished to have owned or do, if
only we could have our way, freedom, or ability to do all things, were
eventually left undone years later—how many bicycles we would have loved to buy
for ourselves, as young growing boys, if only we had enough money all to
ourselves; how numerous our toys would be if we could have “plenty” money, etc.
However, all these dreams never came to pass years later even after we
eventually had all it takes to make them happen. What really happened to them?
What happened was that, when we became adults, we threw away childish things;
our understanding had increased substantially enough to make the vanity of
those “dreams” so obvious that attempting to do those things just appears so
insensible and out of place. Without knowing it, we have unconsciously upheld
certain timeless fact about humans: what we derive satisfaction from, and
therefore what we desire to have or do, depends on our degree/level or kind of
understanding or perception of what really matters in life, or what life is
really about. Our understanding of some values in life is what informs our
decisions at any point in time—that’s the reason why there are apparent
conflicts as to what life is about in our multi-religious society. The author
of the value system of some is the social mirror—the transient fad of our
technologically advancing society, the latest slangs or styles in town; that of
some are certain ancient philosophical thoughts; while yet some have found out
theirs from the Creator of all things. The stability with which we go through
life depends on the stability of the source of our value systems. Hence, the
need to search out the truly stable values that spring from genuine timeless
principles of life as God had it set in motion from creation, and which are
explicitly expressed in the Scriptures.
The
shifting values at various stages…
When
we were babes, life seemed to be all about fickle pleasures derived from taking
directly to the mouth any tangible thing we ever handled, then later, switching
from one flashy material to another—we therefore wanted to get more colourful
toys. When we became a bit more aware of ourselves and our environment,
especially during our primary and secondary school days, life seemed to then be
about who’s better than whom in class, having what others don’t, and we
accordingly strove to have an edge over our mates just to increase our sense of
worth, while almost never thinking about anything else. On getting to the
tertiary institution, one more awareness seems to be added to the previous—and
that is the awareness of our sexuality and affections. Many then try to look
the best they can in dressing, in carriage, and also try to associate with the
most beautiful, most handsome, most sociable, while some others try to be, and
if too difficult, try to associate with the seemingly most intelligent ones—appraisal
usually based on academic results as displayed on the notice/result board. All
these are results of shifting values which have very short shelf life or expiry
date at providing the sense of worth or importance that we so desire.
Making
decisions on long-lasting issues…
In
the midst of these shifting values, many make decisions on long-lasting issues
that could have permanent effects on
their lives. For example, some in the midst of this yet unstable perspective to
life, would make decisions like “my spouse just has to be a very outgoing
person, ever ready for partying, comic remarks or gist…” ; “she just has to be
beautiful” ; “he must be sweet, tall, and smart-looking” ; “she just must be
dope” ; “I’ve got to work in Chevron or nowhere else” simply because they pay
huge sum there; “I shall be up-to-date with the latest cars in town”. Perhaps
these are not so bad desires in themselves. Who doesn’t really want a beautiful
wife, a handsome husband, a job offering good pay, or a nice car? Who doesn’t?
I doubt if there is any. However, they become poisons to a fulfilling life and
destiny when they become the core of your goals or values in life. You are
setting up yourself for a certain frustration when you hope that merely having
these would fill the vacuum of dissatisfaction that you strongly feel on your
inside. Moreover, as time goes on, we develop different perspectives to life.
Many would soon realize that beautiful faces, handsome and well-built physique
cannot really build the home they dream of, neither can tallness or mere huge
salary. Some would eventually find out that fine cars can attract fickle esteem
from the society, but cannot drive home true and lasting happiness. The
alarming divorce, addiction and suicide rate among western celebrities,
especially, can testify to these.
To
build an enviable marriage and family…
It
takes genuine love from the heart, deep commitment to the union and high sense
of responsibility and unwavering dedication to build a lasting home submerged
in unceasing joy. It takes loving and intentional attention to raise healthy
giant kids who possess fine spirits of enthusiasm and confidence towards life
and eagerness to serve the society and bring pride to the parents. It takes the
coming together of two agreeable hearts regenerated by love to erect a home
that stand as a beacon of excellence to everyone who looks up to a successful
home.
Shifting
values in our formal education system…
Highly scholastic workers in the labour market
soon get to know that high-sounding qualifications or degrees can make one into
an occupant of a life-less boring managerial position, but not produce sound
leadership prowess needed to solve the most daunting challenges facing our
society. They soon realize that the values they placed on all-night sessions of
cramming and memorization just to have A’s accredited to them were mere
shifting values. It’s interesting to realize that we don’t readily have any
university around owned by a professor, even as our most disturbing problems
keep looming large with rising number of professors in the areas of expertise
apparently required to solve the problems, logically speaking. Our formal
education system has so derail from the primary aim of education—practical
knowledge for problem-solving—that certifications from our schools have become
major contributors to the shifting values that distract people from focusing on
the weightier matters of life by confining them within the four walls of the
school buildings while training them to become machines that function as programmed.
These our schools do by keeping people engaged in the endless “rat race” of who
get the best scores based on how much one can memorize and reproduce it in the
examination hall, with minimal concern for the life application of the crammed
figures and definitions to relevant problem-solving. The smart ones take advantage
of the opportunities that the school environments offer, but refused to be
caged by the limiting compulsion of the system.
This
too will not do…
We
sometimes think if we could acquire enough money to procure all we can ever
desire or be associated to someone with admirable possessions or treasures or
luxuries (as spouse, or friend), then we would be fulfilled. But soon, it dawns
on us that thirst for fulfilment is never quenched even if we succeed in this;
rather, it only forces us to want to acquire more while ever promising an
unattainable level of satisfaction. This is the root of all addictions and
indulgence. It takes a heart genuinely devoted to positively impacting other
lives with positive things to attain a satisfactory level of fulfilment—it has
been so designed by God, and there is no two way to it!
The
permanent values…
As
many as discover this reality of shifting values early enough, they give
themselves to finding out what the true, ideal and timeless values
are—dedication to God, purpose-drivenness, selfless service towards fellow men,
integrity, honesty, caringness, etc—and they make decisions concerning various
aspects of their lives and at different stages of their lives based on these
values. They recognize that they do not just exist, but a superior being
somewhere is responsible for the existence of all things, that He made all
things and everyone for specific purposes. And that only Him should know best
what life is really about, and therefore, the true principles and values that
should guide our conducts and decisions. They dig deep in Him to find them out,
especially on the pages of scriptures, through prayer and meditation, and then
go through life with confidence and assurance. They are the ones that turn out
to be the world changers, and sources of envy to their world!
Recommendations: read
my other posts on Purpose
to have a broader view on things that are of permanent values
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