The realities of Adulthood (1)

Denial of the realities…

Some time ago I had a strong vexation in my within that lasted over weeks, for reasons so hard for me to really pinpoint. I’d intermittently felt inconvenienced from within before then. I’d felt so disinterested and indifferent towards many activities and things I normally really enjoy—reading and thinking, and impactful conversation. Reading of Scriptures and prayers too had been irregular and infrequent, making the whole thing more complicated. I tried to ask myself what the problem could be, but found out there isn’t really any physical cause obvious enough to be seen. But upon a deeper thought, I realized that a bulk of these challenges proceeded from my not acknowledging enough the realities that surround me as the demands of adulthood come surfacing.

I seemed to want to be free to go anywhere, do anything, avoiding every task that might require accountability and responsibility from me; but it all was like denying my status as an adult and wanting to still keep enjoying the “comfortable and stressless” free life of a child. The child is not only dependent on others but also thinks only in terms of what he and he alone wants, what he feels, or what brings pleasure, while as much as possible avoiding any tendency to want to be inconvenienced for whatever course however pertinent—“just let me have my fun” is the major voice or watchword of the child. Every attempt to wish for or put on any bit of this kind of life, instead of affording me a genuine sense of freedom, only ended up getting me into being busier in dealing with the inner inconvenience and emptiness that resulted from this attempt.

The inherent sense of the need to put away childish things…

Accompanying adulthood is the need to be responsible and accountable for certain tasks or people, and also shedding off certain scales of involvement in some things that might not be really expedient. This need is not optional; it is inherently built in there by the Creator. And the best we can do is learning and giving the right response to the call. To attempt doing otherwise is intentionally resolving to cause anarchy on our inside, for nothing else would be able to make up for it. As adulthood approaches, one’s specific purpose (vision) in life starts to unravel, and this implies definiteness and specificity in the kinds of things or events one gets involved in. The childhood and adolescent stages are periods meant for trying out many things and testing many waters, all in search of meaning or what really matters. And when one finds out one’s unique course in life as adulthood comes knocking, one should be ready to put away “childish things”. Carrying on that childish mentality of “freedom to do all” into adulthood would result in many abnormalities and dysfunctions that apparently mar our societal values, and it’s a major bane of our polity—ranging from spoilt children to broken homes. A married man, for example, should get acquainted with the reality of a married life, learn to maximize the enjoyment and bliss in the conjugal life instead of wishing for the “freedom” of the bachelor life. The same should be true of every woman who desires a peaceful home with long-lasting happiness and atmosphere of love. How free would we really be from stress and anxiety, and how much peace of mind would we have if we could realize this truth early and consciously choose to respond appropriately based of certain immutable principles of life!

Pointers to the onset of adulthood…

I have come to realize that a pointer to this reality starts attempting to express itself early in the life of an adult who tries to disregard its existence. It could express itself via dissatisfaction and even discomfort from things that normally gratified one as a child or adolescent. This inner pointer, as it were, is meant to prevent the more serious consequences of neglecting this reality that could surface later in life—for instance during marriage, at work, in one’s ministry, etc. When it starts getting stronger and stronger over time, then it’s time to take up the cloak of adulthood. It’s time to answer some crucial questions about what life truly is about; and then live out the answers we find. However, people who disobey this pointer by constantly violating it, rather than responding to it appropriately, soon get the repercussive bash of disobeying a fundamental life principle—lack of inner sense of balance, complications and various distortions in other crucial aspects of one’s life. On the other hand, recognizing this pointer quickly enough and adjusting one’s life appropriately could save anyone of endless regrets, especially at old age, and delivering into one’s hands the satisfaction and sense of fulfilment that results from adhering to genuine life principles.

I put away childish things… 

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, simply because I thought like a child. I also acted like a child. But when I became an adult, I had no other option but to put away childish things.