Some years ago in room C3, Mellanby
Hall, University of Ibadan, exactly in the year 2013, I got involved in a
discussion with a friend and colleague in school, a discussion that eventually
resulted in a mild argument. It was specifically on marital issues. I expressed
some of my plans as regards when I’d love to marry, plans which did not seem
feasible to him. I soon realized that the reason he did not agree to the
feasibility of my plans were his assumption on the value of age (in numbers) on
the level of maturity and preparedness of a person for a task like going into
marriage. However, I realized that my recent prior experience before that time
had made me to unconsciously not think in terms of numerical age as far as
maturity is concerned, but rather in terms of my prospective level of maturity
resulting from a conscious devotion to the process of growth. My conviction
about this perspective of mine made me make a declaration which I really, at
that time, had little understanding of. Being in 200 level (faculty of
Pharmacy) I confidently declared that by the time I would be graduating from
the university I could not have been less than 10 years older than my age in
numbers. It perhaps looked ambiguous to that colleague of mine and the other
person present just like it might be to
you now, but right down deep within me, I understood what I meant. I meant that
by the time I would be graduating, I would have so grown in maturity and depth
of insights that I would be reasoning and approaching life in a manner expected
of someone who is about 10 years older than what the actual value of his age
would be in numbers. Just imagine a 20 years old person reasoning like a 30
years old, and you would get my point. I
was at that time just coming to understand the interplay between maturity and
depth of insight as they relate to age or time. As much as this write-up isn’t
necessarily on relationship per se, I felt the experience above would make a
crucial prelude to the point I plan making subsequently.
Age has no value apart from what’s
done within the time…
It occurred to me that how mature one
gets to become over time isn’t primarily dependent on the magnitude of time we
spend living as measured by our numerical age, but rather what we do or engage
in within that time, the amount of knowledge or experience we get exposed to
within that time. In other words, all other things being equal, a 20 years old
guy who consciously exposes himself to genuine wealth of knowledge or
experience of what life really entails could be so much more mature than a 40
year old man who is merely growing and just getting by with the limited measure
of experience and knowledge that naturally comes his way. In the same way, a 50
year old man or woman who had spent the bulk of his/her life on frivolities,
but fails to grow in his/her knowledge base as regards genuine life principles
could be found to reason as childishly as a 15 year old boy/girl. That is to
say that maturity depends really on the quality of time spent and not
necessarily on the quantity of time. Prior to this time, I’d just started
realizing the path of reading books as a way of enhancing one’s depth of
knowledge and maturity, and I was poised to exploit this as I resolved to live
up to the profound declaration that I’d made in the presence of my friends. However,
over the years, I’ve come to be aware of other equally or perhaps more
effective ways to facilitate one’s growth and maturity in life in addition to
reading books. Besides reading books, there are other highly effective means
like direct mentorship, intense devotion to intentional thinking and meditation
on different subjects in life, and also the amazing path of spirituality.
Combine these means with the right perspective, and you become amazing to your
world! These various means of personal growth will be discussed one after the
other in these series of articles. I like to refer to them as “ways to
fast-forward your life.” Alongside increase in maturity and depth of insight is
an increase in one’s capacity for impact and contribution—which is the measure
of one’s true worth in life. The more
stuffs you put in there, the more values you can give, and the bigger your true
worth.
Testimonies during ASUU strike…
I
set out to intensify my devotion to personal growth immediately after my
discussion with that colleague of mine—“I’ve got to live up to my words” I
thought. Shortly after, there was a nationwide strike among the Academic Staff
Union of Universities (ASUU) which lasted for about 6 months. It was a turning
point for me as many things found definition in my life. I got some
non-academic self-help books on different subjects of life and started reading.
I spent a large portion of the striking time alone in a room in Fajuyi Hall,
Obafefemi Awolowo University (OAU), Ile-Ife, as I gave myself to reading,
meditation and some measures of spiritual exercise. I started sensing more
certainty and confidence in my approach and perspectives to life. I found
myself being so full of insights. One day, I was at a
restaurant—Forks&Fingers—to eat when I overhead a youth corp member and an
OAU lecturer as they got involved in a discussion. I was quite interested in
the discussion, and their views made me feel the need to help out with my
insight into the subject matter. And I did contribute as wisely as I could. I
was surprised to hear a man holler at me some days later, saying “thanks so
much for the other day.” The person happened to be the lecturer I’d met during
the discussion. I felt like “what did I do?” because as for me, I just spoke normally, but
it nevertheless meant much to him. And that supplied some fuel of encouragement
for me to keep growing. During this same period, I met with an elderly medical
student of OAU student, whom I used to like calling Dr Raphael. We’d met for
barely a week before he made a remark which was so encouraging to me that I
noted it in my diary—such comments being still so special to me at that stage
of my life. He said “Oga Allen, you’ve really built yourself. You’ve got enough
resources to make you succeed anywhere. I really admire you.” Remarks like
these have become so common over the years that they have made me more
confident of these principles of personal growth beyond mere head-knowledge. As
I sit to write this article, I briefly paused at this point to check my
whatsapp messages, and there someone just sent a personal message that says “you’re
really an inspiration to many.” All these I’m sure result from a long term
application of the ideas I shall be sharing in these series of articles. To be continued…
No comments:
Post a Comment
place comment here